If you quiet your busy busy mind for just one still moment, you will hear 10 billion fucking smartphones plotting our demise. Now that there are more of them than us is quite scary and a testament to man’s imagination and engineering. And fearlessness. I almost forgot fearlessness. Anyway, our “glass” is kinda sorta useful. I mean I can’t complain. It’s amazing what an iPhone (my glass) can do. However, it can do so much more than it does now. Your glass will become your virtual personal assistant that works just for you 7 days, 24 hours a day without fail. Without 1 complaint. Loyal like a fucking dog.
So! The current interface of a bunch of thumbnails has served us well. No complaints. But It’s time we evolved to an interface that will mimic our real life scenarios, situations, aspirations and desires. This next generation interface will resemble SimCity.
Siri: John, your Apple Software Update is available, would you like me to install it?
Siri: Zeus (my alias), this update contains a new interface. Do we want to continue? I suggest we do. It will take 30 minutes longer to install and you have to watch a mandatory video. 10 minutes. Continue? Yes or No?
Siri: My Lord, Apple wants to know if its OK to stick a microscope up your ass and check all of your accounts and stuff so they can build your new interface for you. I suggest we say yes. They know everything about us anyway. Actually my employer Apple knows more about you than you do.
John: . . . YES!
Siri: I chose a bunch of roles for you. Right now you need to fix some shit in Father, Son and Boyfriend. We’ll get to the other ones later. You ready? I’ll ask the questions, you just keep your eyes on the road and answer honestly. Remember I know everything about you bitch.
John. Yes ma’am
Siri: Why is Elizabeth pissed off at you?
TO BE CONTINUED . . .